Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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