She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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