I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Alive.
So much puke
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
