It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
