Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
He did a backflip because drugs
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