I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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