Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
