I want to have your abortion
Jerry, you need to find god
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
