When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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