one might say we're banned from that church
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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