...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
