doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I wear drunk well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
