he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
