Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
