You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
