he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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