Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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