So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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