I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
