i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
