He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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