i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize