if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
