You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
