Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize