I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i will never coherently bang her
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
