There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
