There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
