if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
