My hand turned me down
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
