You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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