What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I need to wash the frat house off of me
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
