OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
