no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I smell like Dick and happiness
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
