i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize