Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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