let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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