wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I understand Curling. That high.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
