Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
