i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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