she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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