is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
