More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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