i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
