Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you never un-have a 4some
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
