I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
