the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize