yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize