I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
