had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He's on the porch naked. Help.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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