all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
