i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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