He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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