I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
