it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
