Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
