how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
