if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
