Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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