she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
