Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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