I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
